Thursday, September 28, 2006

mistakes

sometimes, i just wish i was better. i don't wanna explain. i just wish i was better. better than what i am now.

i feel so bad for thinking that but i can't really help it. it's not really a sense of self pity or anything. it's more of self disgust. i'm so sick of disappointing people all the time. the things is, i know i could do better. i know that within me i have the potential to do better than how i do now. but what grosses me out the most is that i acknowledge a problem but i just don't get my act together. it's not a matter of incapability but rather it's just me being an idiot and not doing what i know i could do.

i really hate myself sometimes. i also question myself but i can't answer those questions because i know my answer will just slap me in the face and call me stupid. if i could, i would have opened my head, taken my head out and replaced it with a new brain that isn't so messed up. if only it's possible.

and sometimes, i really resent my parents. i resent the way that things happened and the fact that they didn't bring me up properly. i resent that i can't be the happy kid that i long to be just because they had problems.

then in the end, i realize that i've made another mistake by resenting so many things. it seems to happen quite often, the realization that i'm doing things wrong once again. so why don't i just fix it?

why don't i just fix it?

why don't i just give you the damn letter.

the butterflies played at 4:10 p.m.
-:-people in the crowd set 2 of them free

i'm the butterfly catcher

  • seese/si si
  • Christian
  • 4bg/hbg/c
  • odd, loyal, random, blunt

my butterfly catching days


the blissful sounds of the world


    • -:- Do You Know - Enrique Iglesias

    Do you know
    Do you know
    Do you know

    Do you know what it feels like
    loving someone
    that’s in a rush to throw you away
    Do you know what it feels like
    to be the last one
    to know the lock on the door has changed

    If birds flying south's a sign of changes
    At least you can predict this every year
    Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
    I can’t get it to speak
    Maybe finding all the things it took to save us
    I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
    Look in your eyes to see there's something about me
    I’m standing on the edge
    and I don’t know what else to give

    Do you know what it feels like
    loving someone
    that’s in a rush to throw you away
    Do you know what it feels like
    to be the last one
    to know the lock on the door has changed

    How can I love you How can I love you
    How can I love you How can I love you
    If you just don’t talk to me, babe

    I flow through my act
    The question is she needed
    And decide all the man I can ever be
    Looking at the last 3 years like I did,
    I could never see us ending like this
    Seeing your face no more on my pillow
    Is a scene that’s never happened to me
    But after this episode I don’t see,
    you could never tell the next thing life could be

    Do you know what it feels like
    loving someone
    that’s in a rush to throw you away.
    Do you know what it feels like
    to be the last one
    to know the lock on the door has changed.

    Do you know what it feels like
    loving someone
    that’s in a rush to throw you away.
    Do you know what it feels like
    to be the last one
    to know the lock on the door has changed.

    Do you know,
    Do you know,
    Do you know,

    Do you know what it feels like
    loving someone
    that’s in a rush to throw you away
    Do you know what it feels like
    to be the last one
    to know the lock on the door has changed