Saturday, April 21, 2007
like it or not, change happens.
i've noticed how much things have changed from a year or two years ago.
honestly, it's kind of depressing. but then, at the same time, some changes, i'm glad it happened.
i look at my friends and how close i am with each one of them. some of them have distanced themselves and others still remain close. whether or not the distancing is an effect of who i am or what i've done, i really don't know. all i know is that it really digs a hole in my heart.
i've done somewhat of a self reflection and how i have changed throught the years.
for the better, i've become more open. i know that some may think i've always been open but actually, i was pretty reserved. i guess i've learned to accept the fact that my past, my life, my problems won't change in an instant, or when i need them to. i might as well prepare myself to be more vulnerable and less secretive. that way, i can witness to others too by being more open about things.
as for my friends, they've also changed. i used to hang out with my school friends a lot but after this incident with my closest friend in school, everyone started to drift off in a way. i'm glad and me and farrah are still pretty close... but it just isn't the same. i've become closer with felly people and i've sort of created a dependence on them. i really can't imagine life without these people. honestly, it's just -so- hard. i can't imagine not having the support i have (i'm not saying that i'm all dependent on you guys... :P i can look after myself too :D) and still be the person that i am today. the love that you guys have shown me has reached into me more than you'll ever know or would have guessed. the fact that you guys are my friends makes me feel more whole and that i have something to look forward to in life.
i hope you guys never change. i want to be able to call you guys up and know that you guys still recognize my voice on the phone. i hope it's not too selfish, considering how everyone will have their own families. it's just like, my wish in life. my ambition; to be able to keep in touch with my dear friends. drifting away and losing the bond between someone dear is one of my worst nightmares. i just don't want to imagine it. i've already had to go through it once...
i think God will keep us together somehow. or as the very least, keep us in touch. that's my prayer for the future, that we'll still be close... even with mail as slow as snails. :)
honestly, it's kind of depressing. but then, at the same time, some changes, i'm glad it happened.
i look at my friends and how close i am with each one of them. some of them have distanced themselves and others still remain close. whether or not the distancing is an effect of who i am or what i've done, i really don't know. all i know is that it really digs a hole in my heart.
i've done somewhat of a self reflection and how i have changed throught the years.
for the better, i've become more open. i know that some may think i've always been open but actually, i was pretty reserved. i guess i've learned to accept the fact that my past, my life, my problems won't change in an instant, or when i need them to. i might as well prepare myself to be more vulnerable and less secretive. that way, i can witness to others too by being more open about things.
as for my friends, they've also changed. i used to hang out with my school friends a lot but after this incident with my closest friend in school, everyone started to drift off in a way. i'm glad and me and farrah are still pretty close... but it just isn't the same. i've become closer with felly people and i've sort of created a dependence on them. i really can't imagine life without these people. honestly, it's just -so- hard. i can't imagine not having the support i have (i'm not saying that i'm all dependent on you guys... :P i can look after myself too :D) and still be the person that i am today. the love that you guys have shown me has reached into me more than you'll ever know or would have guessed. the fact that you guys are my friends makes me feel more whole and that i have something to look forward to in life.
i hope you guys never change. i want to be able to call you guys up and know that you guys still recognize my voice on the phone. i hope it's not too selfish, considering how everyone will have their own families. it's just like, my wish in life. my ambition; to be able to keep in touch with my dear friends. drifting away and losing the bond between someone dear is one of my worst nightmares. i just don't want to imagine it. i've already had to go through it once...
i think God will keep us together somehow. or as the very least, keep us in touch. that's my prayer for the future, that we'll still be close... even with mail as slow as snails. :)
the butterflies played at 10:25 p.m.
-:-people in the crowd set 1 of them free
-:-people in the crowd set 1 of them free